Second chances
by xo-RozaBelikova-ox
Summary: Life is full of second chances, but sometimes they aren't enough... Rose, although still young, had been through a lot in her short life and it doesn't seem to get any calmer soon.
1. Chapter 1

Sedond chances

Here's another story

I had this idea for a long time now and decided to see what you guys think about it.

I hope you enjoy it :)

Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Academy, just the plot

Now enjoy and please review

~ xo-RozaBelikova-ox ~

Chapter 1

So far my life was... I don't want to say troubled, because my parents never beat me and I never hungered. So I never suffered in this way... But a lot had happened in my 22 years of life.

I grew up from a little toddler to an almost grown up woman, I went to school, I had my share of parties, I gratuated, I had my own apartment, I fell in and out of love, I've been married, I've got pregnant and gave birth and I've lost mymy baby boy and I had to bury him forever... and I've lost my husband, but in a different way.

So you can say I've been through a lot. A lot of joy. A lot of pain. A lot of life, although I still have a lot of life ahead of me.

It all started when I was 17. I know it's a little young to find the one person that you want to spend the rest of your life with, but it did happened to me. I met the most amazing guy I've ever known and fell in love.

His name was Dimitri Belikov. He was 2 years older than I was.

We were very happy and at my 18th birthday we had sex for the first time, the first time at all for me. In my opinion it was a wonderful night. Everything seemed to be perfect.

At my gratulation we danced the whole night and had fun and had what we thought of as the time of our lives. Just the way it is when you are completely in love for the first time...

But then, a half year later, almost just two years after we've got together, it happened.

I've got pregnant. A complete shock for all of us. Never had we thought this could happen.

As responsible as you can be as a teenager, we always used protectioprotection, both of us. But what we didn't knew was that the medication I took at this time, made my pill invalidate. So one time when we didn't used a condom, because we thought I was on the pill so nothing would happen, it happened.

At the time I found out I was pregnant, it was already to late to think of an abortion. But to be honest, I don't think that I could have ever done this, not that I judge people who are able to do this.

However, I was pregnant, so we decided it was the best thing to get married.

I became his wife and changed my name from Rose Hathaway to Rose Belikov. We were in love and although we never planned a child this early in our lives, we loved him from the beginning, no matter what.

Together with our baby boy, we moved into a small apartment and while Dimitri got work, I took care of our baby and our home.

While the time passed by, we found our rhythm and had a good way of life, although the whole " _married-with-a-child-at-19_ " thing wasn't planned, we were happy and lucky to have our little family.

A year later we celebrated our baby's first birthday. Our whole family gathered together and we sat around, talking and laughing.

Neither of us thought that 2 weeks later, our whole world would crush.

Our little baby boy of 1 year died. Diagnose: SIDS, sudden infant death syndrome, or crib death.

With that event in our live, I would say this is where everything changed. Together we had to bury our little baby boy... Something we never imagined would happen to us, but it did, because live is not fair.

After that we weren't the same anymore... and almost 6 month after the funeral we decided to break up and try to get over this, even though we both knew, that it was impossible to get over something like this.

Well, actually _he_ wanted to have space and I just hadn't had the power to do anything but feel numb inside, because I just lost my baby boy and was about to lose my husband as well.

He moved away and I decided that after several weeks of therapy it would be time to try and start creating a new life as well. The next month I started college and everything seemed to get well.

Although I was still sad and always will be because of the lost I've been through, I had new hope and new friends.


	2. Chapter 2

**_Hey guys, here is the next chapter_**

 ** _I hope you enjoy it :)_**

 ** _Please review_**

 ** _~ xo-RozaBelikova-ox ~_**

 _Although I was still sad and always will be because of the lost I've been through, I had new hope and new friends._

 **Chapter 2** And here we are now. Almost 2 years after I lost the two most important people in my entire life.

Here I am in the dorm room I moved in when I started college. We just got back from a restaurant and just want to change quickly.

We, that are my friends and I. All together we went out and had a pizza and now we want to go to this party in another dorm building where the guys live.

None of my friends know what I've been through. Neither the part where I was married and legally still am, nor the part about my little boy. I never told them because I couldn't.

For one it still hurts too much to talk about it without having the feeling to be ripped apart. And the other reason is the fact that I can't tell them I was married without telling them about the other part of the story the reason for the marriage at this young age.

So I decided to not tell them at all. So right now I am sitting on my bed to put on my shoes, when I felt the necklace fell out of my dress. At the end of the long chain is the little ring we received at the christening feast for our little baby boy.

Ever since the loss I am wearing this necklace with his ring around my neck. Always covered under my t-shirt, so that I don't have to answer questions about the ring, but at the same time I have this ring always close to my heart.

My thoughts drift off to my old life, the way they always do when I drink a little bit and take a look at my necklace. In this sentimental feeling I open the box on my nightstand. In it are my engagement ring and my wedding band.

This whole tragedy is going to be 2 years ago in four weeks. My little boy would be 3 years old in two weeks. During this time of the year I get all sentimental and I am feeling as sad as I felt at the time 2 years ago.

Last year I sneaked out of college for three weeks and visited my parents and together we've been at his grave.

At the cementary we've met my still-mother-and-sisters-in-law. Together we've had dinner and remembered our little baby boy. But Dimitri hadn't been there. His mother told me that he wasn't feeling good and that he moved away and couldn't get here today, but that his thoughts were here with us during this time.

My friends noticed my bad mood, but stopped asking when they understood that the only answer I would give them, was that we lost a close family member a year ago and that we needed our help and the presence of our family at this time of the year.

While little tears started to form in my eyes, the way they always do when I drink alcohol and think of my little family, I realized that one of my friends was standing in the doorway, so I hurry and put the rings back into the box and put the necklace back under my dress.

"Hay, are you ready? We want to go." Lissa said, just a little bit more drunk than I was. "The guys are already waiting for us and apparently there is a new guy that just transferred from another college. And Mia said that he is extremely hot!" she giggles and turns away to go to the other girls. I wiped away the tears and finished getting ready.

Lissa is my best friend since I started college and moved into this dorm building. Shorty after being friends with her, I joined her group of friends. Mia, Sydney, Jill and Avery are the other girls in our group. They all have boyfriends, but Mia and I.

Lissa's boyfriend of 3 years is Christian, while Sydney and Adrian just got together two month ago, just as Jill and Eddie. Avery and Simon are already a couple for 2 years and Mia broke up with her boyfriend shorty after we got to know each other.

At parties like the one we are about to go to, Mia and I used the opportunity and flirt with the other guys, but since it are always the same guys there and most of them are in relationships, it's just the two of us having a lot of fun together. I mean, it's not like the other girls just stick together wit their boyfriends, but it's a fact you can't miss.

Every time we know that there will be a new guy, Mia always goes to the party early to take a good first look and to "make the first move" so that the other girls know that she is interested or that I might could be interested.

Although it's a year and a half ago, I still don't seem to be able to be interested in someone new or even more, having any sort of relationship. But no one really seems to notice this, which I am very grateful for.

A finale look into the mirror and I leave my room to find my group of friends, all waiting for me, as always as well. But this time they're not complaining, because they seem to have noticed that my mood had gotten worse, just the way it had been last year. And it seemed like Lissa had noticed me crying despite her being so tipsy and she had told them she saw me crying but no one said anything about it, so we left to go have a fun night.

When we entered the party Mia came running towards me. "Oh my God. This new guy! He is so hot, 24 years old, live in dorm room M.447," that's when she gives me a look that was supposed to tell me that the fact that I am living in dorm room F.447 has to mean that we are made for each other and then continued, "he transferred from a college in Oregon, that is where he moved here from, but he grew up in this town and originally planned to study here in Montana, but had to move to Oregon, because of some family matters-" I was stunned. Mia had just been here 1/2 hour before we came here and already knew everything how it seems.

"Wow, do you already know his phone and social security number?" I interrupted her monologue. Mia looked at me perplexed and the others who had listened to Mia's storm of information started to laugh. "No but I will find out, as soon as he'll come here."

Now it was my turn to be perplexed. "What do you mean when he'll be here? Haven't you seen him? If not then how do you know all this information? You just got here 30 minutes before us." She winked at me, smiling.

"Well I saw him. But just for short. He and some other guys drove to get some more ice and alcohol... And when you'll see him, you'll know how I got my information. Like I said, he is very hot and hot topic number one. Every girl is talking about him, whether she's here with her boyfriend or not." I just shook my head, I really couldn't believe this.

" Whatever, I am going to talk to him as soon as he'll be here, Rose. He would be perfect for you. But I thin think we are going to have to make the first move, because he doesn't seem to be the talkative guy from what the other girls told me." Mia apparently thought that a guy could give me a good mood swing.

I couldn't belive this, but I could at least take a look at this hot new guy." Do you know his name?" I asked her and just as she was about to tell me his name, the door opened and we all turned around. Immediately I stood still, shocked.

Here in front of me stood the most attractive man I've ever seen. "That's him!" Mia whispered in my ear, but I couldn't react.

I couldn't move.

The guy just stared back at me, neither of us able to do anything but standing beside the door and staring at each other. He was the first one to come to life.

"Roza..." was all he said. Hearing his voice again, with this sexy Russian accent, calling my name... That was too much.

My friends looked between the guy and me, all with opened mouths and obviously not able to belive and understand how we got to know each other

"Roza." He said again and started to move forward and held out his hand, as if he wanted to touch my arm.

That was when I finally managed to look alive. "No, don't, Dimitri. Don't you tare touching me." And with him standing there, looking shocked and hurt by my words, all my friends standing around us and staring at me, all the memories came back and with them all the pain. My eyes filled with tears and I ran away.


	3. Chapter 3

_That was when I finally managed to look alive. "No, don't, Dimitri. Don't you tare touching me." And with him standing there, looking shocked and hurt by my words, all my friends standing around us and staring at me, all the memories came back and with them all the pain. My eyes filled with tears and I ran away._

 **Chapter 3**

I run as fast as my legs could carry me, down the stairs and out, into the direction of the campus park.

The whole pain of losing my little family came back, crushing down on me again. I didn't wanted anyone to see me cry, but I guess it's too late now to worry about questions I would be receiving after the scene we just caused. All I could do was hope that the rest of the party guests didn't see anything that was going on. I am hopeful that I could distract my friends with some short answers, without really telling them what is going on.

It's not that I dont trust them with all I have, but it's like telling them everything would make it even more real than it already is. They are my little island where I can pretend to be a normal, carefree college student, just like the rest of them.

After running for a while, I stopped. I leaned against a bench near me and that was when I heard footsteps coming closer to me. I looked up and saw him. Dimitri. The love of my life. The father of my child... _My child..._ The baby boy I had to bury with him two years ago.

"Roza! Wait," he called after me, but slowed down when he saw that I was going to wait next to the bench. His hands in his pockets, Dimitri came closer until he stopped, standing in front of me. He had his head dropped down, not looking into my face.

"Please..." was all I could say. I tried to even my breath and then I started talking again. "Please, just leave me alone..." I begged, sitting down on the bench.

As if I didn't say anything, he sat down beside me, his hands still in the pockets of his duster. "How... How are you?" he began speaking.

"Ha!" I let out a breath. "Did you really just asked me how I am? What do you think?" although I know my reaction may seem irrational, I couldn't help it.

All the pain I thought I've had overcome, just came back and with all the hurt my brain couldn't think straight. All I could feel was love and pain and sadness.

"I am sorry." was all he said.

"What for?" I shot back as my head shot up and I looked him in the eyes. "Everything." That was when I slapped him. As my hand connection with his cheek, he looked completely taken aback, surprised I would actually hit him.

After the initial shock his expression got very sad. Just the way he looked at me made my heart melt, but that doesn't mean that my anger was completely forgotten. But I've got to admit, the hit really helped getting rid of some built up anger.

He continued speaking as if nothing happened. "I didn't mean to upset you with my questions, but I really want to know how you are. And yeah, I know I lost all my rights to ask you that. But despite everything that had happened in the past, you still mean everything to me. But I also know that I really screwed up and that I hurt you. And I swear I am just as surprised as you are to see you here. I didn't knew you are studying here. Mama just told me that you are at some local college, but that you planned to do an exchange year somewhere."

For some moments we just looked into each other's eyes. "I'm sorry too... I shouldn't have ran away, but I was just so shocked. And I should also be sorry for hitting you...but I never thought I would see you here again... Especially not now when it are just two weeks until..." my voice cracked and I just couldn't finish the sentence.

"I know... And I am sorry that I haven't been there last year or two years ago after it happened. It's just that I didn't knew how to handle this situation... It was too much to take."

"I know! What do you think how I felt? After he died I was just as sad and I wasn't able to cope with this huge loss just as you couldn't! But I would have needed you! We should have been there for each other to get through this..." Without being able to stop myself I started to yell at him and my tears just started falling.

"This is something we both could have needed each other's support for, but no! You just decided that it was better to shut me out and pretent like nothing happened. You haven't even been home at the anniversary of his death or visit hid grave at any time throughout the past. Even your mother could have needed your help, but you haven't been there for your family. That's something I never thought you would do. But you did and you shut everyone out of your life!! And now you are back and the first time I see you again is at a party!"

As I finished my tantrum he gave me some seconds to calm down.

"That was wrong. I admit that, BUT I am not the only one who made mistakes. You have been the one to shut me out first. The first two weeks after we've lost him, you never let me come near you or even hold your hand. You have been the one to just sit around and not letting someone help you." He said in a calm voice what only made me feel worse for yelling at him, more than I already felt.

After a moment he continued speaking, his voice became quieter with every word until his voice was barely a whisper.

"The reason I haven't been there last year was the fact that I couldn't handle it... I couldn't see you again, or the grace... All I wanted to do was forget this, I don't mean to forget him because that's something I never could. I loved him and I always will. But not to think about his loss the whole day. I needed to look forward and try to figure out how I am going to survive losing him and letting you go. Just as you had to."

Again we fell silent.

Without realizing it, my fingers started to play with the ring at my necklace. When his eyes met the ring, I immediatelysaw him stifle a little bit.

"Is this...?" was all he needed to say. I nodded and gave him the necklace so he could hold the ring. Even though it was dark I could see the tears escaping his eyes.

"Two years..." he said.

"Yes... Two years ago we lost lost him... in 4 weeks he is going to be gone for two years. And in two weeks he would have been 3 years old..." I agreed.

"Time passed by so fast. It feels like it has been a week ago that you told me that you are pregnant and like it was yesterday that he was born." We both stared at the ring in his fingers while he talked.

"And like we just lost him today." That was when I started crying again, but this time Dimitri put his arms around me and I let myself fall into his embrace. I don't know how long we sat there like this.

My eyes turned dry and although it has been one and a half year since we last saw each other, it feels like not a single day has gone by since we have been together last time.

But a lot _has_ happened... It's been one and a half years. I couldn't deny every time I felt alone after he left and how much I had needed him over the last year. Besides losing my baby boy, it was the hardest thing losing him as well. I could get over everything else. The loss of my friends, the trouble with work and my family as I've found out I was pregnant this young.

The worst part of it all had been losing him, when I'd needed him the most.


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you guys a lot for the reviews, they really made my days.

Sorry for not updating in a long time, but life is busy as always :)

Now enjoy the 4th chapter

~ xo-RozaBelikova-ox ~

* * *

But a lot has happened... It's been one and a half years. I couldn't deny every time I felt alone after he left and how much I had needed him over the last year. Besides losing my baby boy, it was the hardest thing losing him as well. I could get over everything else. The loss of my friends, the trouble with work and my family as I've found out I was pregnant this young.The worst part of it all had been losing him, when I'd needed him the most.

Chapter 4

The next days passed by in a blur.

After what had happened at the party and after that scene in the park, we had parted ways and I got back into my room.

Flashback

I just closed the door behind me when it really hit me.

Dimitri was back. And not just back here in town, but he was studying at the same college. Not that it wasn't bad enough that we would have to see each other in some shared classes, he was also back for this time of the year.

It are just two weeks until our son's birthday. And 4 weeks until his death's anniversary… I know I should be released to have him here this year to go through this with him. But after he'd been absent the last year and actually for the whole time, I'm not sure I want him around.

I would just want to go back home, grief over my loss and meet my parents and his family, go visit his grave again, as I do at least once a month. I would go there more often, but given the distance between college and my home I couldn't visit my son as often as I want to.

But I know that despite everything that Dimitri had done in the past, I couldn't ask him to stay away from his family and our son's grave. It was his right as his father and as much as I would want to do it, I could never do something like this to him, no matter how much I think I hate him right now.

Half an hour later, just as I laid down in bed to try to catch some sleep, I heard the door slam open and Lissa stormed in, followed by the rest of our gang.

"Rose? Are you here?" she screamed as she stomped in my room. "Oh god, Rose! Here you are. You worried us to no end when you just walked away without any explanation."

I rolled to my other side and faced Lissa and the others standing in my doorway. As Lissa and Mia saw that I had been crying, they rushed over to me and sat down on my bedside.

"What's wrong? Did he do something to you?" asked Mia, getting angry at the thought of Dimitri doing something to me that I didn't wanted.

That just made me feel even guiltier… I could see them looking at me and waiting for my explanation whether the guys had to go and have a little chat with Dimitri or not. I really don't deserve such loving friends, especially considering the fact that I never told them what happened and after how I screamed at Dimitri. He hadn't done anything and I had freaked out.

Well, actually he might not have done anything today, but he had done enough in the past to deserve my cold shoulder. I am torn apart inside. On the one side I want to forgive him for what happened in the past. We've been young and it was a tragedy, nothing what one of us could have prevented or handled in the perfect way. But on the other hand, he did left me back then… and never for once in the last month had he tried to contact me and ask how I was holding on.

Neither had I, but I hadn't been the one to go away.

Eddie's voice brought me out of my inner discussion. "Rose? What did he do?"

Apparently they had misunderstood my silence as a confirmation that Dimitri had hurt me.

I shook my head. "Sorry, he hadn't done anything."

"Then why did you ran away as soon as you saw him?" asked Christian, looking slightly worried and confused. "And how do you know him anyway?"

The nine of them looked at me, now all with curiosity on their faces.

I looked around my now crowded room and thought of an explanation, one I could tell them without lying but without telling them the truth either.

"We'd been together… I knew him what feels like a lifetime ago. I'm sorry I caused such a scene, I was just so surprised to see him here. The last time I heard from him, he was studying somewhere else, without the prospect of him transferring here."

Now they all looked at me with pity faces and the guys went back outside and into the living room. The girls and I spent the rest of the night sitting together and talking about what kind of jerks guys could be and they did their best to cheer me up.

End Flashback

This night had made me feel lost again. It had been nice to talk to the girls, but the fact that I couldn't tell them the whole truth made it a little difficult and made me feel guilty.

I haven't seen Dimitri after that night, or at least not long enough to talk to each other. I completely avoided him.

If anyone would see us when we meet each other in the hallways or in class, no one would assume that we know each other, or let alone are married and had a son together.

I am thankful that I hadn't used his last name to apply to colleges and instead used my maiden name, Hathaway. Because now that he was here as well, I think that everyone would ask why we shared the last name when we aren't related, because Belikov really isn't a common name here.

When I entered the next class I already knew somehow that this wouldn't turn out to be a good day. Our professor had turned the chairs into little groups and send every student to the group he wanted them to be in.

I was almost too late, so everyone was already send to their group.

"And finally Miss Hathaway. If you could please go over to this group, thanks."

I turned into the direction Stan had shown me to, when I saw him sitting there, next to the only free chair left.

Dimitri…


	5. Chapter 5

Hey guys,

I'm sorry I haven't uploaded in a while.

I promise to try and update more frequently, but I can't promise you anything.

Anyway, thanks for sticking with me and enjoy reading this short chapter.

Enjoy and feel free to review :)

~ xo-RozaBelikova-ox ~

* * *

" _And finally Miss Hathaway. If you could please go over to this group, thanks."_

 _I turned into the direction Stan had shown me to when I saw him sitting there, next to the only free chair left._

 _Dimitri…_

 **Chapter 5**

 _Oh lord here we go._

I silently cursed myself for picking this class and Stan for putting me into the same group as _him_.

"So, our next Topic is going to be discussed in the groups I divided you into. There will be no switching in between the groups." And here goes my only hope of avoiding him for any longer.

"For the next weeks you'll discuss the meaning of the word FAMILY and how it is different here than it is in other countries and cultures. In the end you are going to present your results and I'll give each group a country or culture you should be focusing on."

God must really hate me. Otherwise this wouldn't be our topic for the next few weeks. I mean, why should he force us to talk about this, when all I could think of was the family that I had with Dimitri and how much it had hurt when I had lost it…. And when this tragedy's anniversary is going to be in a little over a week.

I took the seat next to Dimitri and looked over to the other groups. Eddie was in the group next to the door and he looked over to me with a little pity in his eyes.

Now that my friends knew about my past with Dimitri, they have been helping me avoiding him. I gave Eddie a weak smile and he smiled back. Having such great friends made me feel slightly better.

I turned around and let the others talk and discuss the word family and what their vision of what it would be like to have a family of their own.

The days went by all the same, but this class is really turning into my own personal hell. The more lessons we're having, the more I think about Dimitri and what he did when we've lost our child.

We are now discussing FAMILY for the third time this week and the mostly naive ideas the others have, make me want to scream at them to wake up and see that life isn't the wonderful place they think it will be in their future.

All the time Dimitri's presence next to me made me feel tense.

 _Flashback_

 _"For the next weeks you'll discuss the meaning of the word FAMILY..."_

 _These words echoed through my mind the whole day. Stan had dismissed us after the longest class ever. Or at least that's what it felt like for me._

 _I did my best to ignore Dimitri and as soon as Stan let us go, I ran outside without waiting for Eddie._

 _"Hay Rose! Wait." Eddie called out, trying to catch up._

 _I waited until he stepped next to me._

 _"Why are you so eager to get to your next class? Normally you waste as much time as possible."_

 _I just shrugged my shoulders and he continued talking, as if he didn't notice my discomfort._

 _"What boring topic did Stan chose this time, huh?!"_

 _"Ja, really boring."_

 _Eddie chatted for the rest of the way until we had to part ways to get to our classes._

 _As I took my seat the door opened again and the only person I didn't wanted to see, especially after the last class, walked in._

 _Dimitri stepped in and took a seat two rows in front of me on my left side._

 _I sighed and slumped into my seat. Brilliant, now I didn't just have to see him and talk about family, but see him in another class right after that. God can be cruel._

 _The only good thing was that we were watching a movie, so we didn't have to work that much or interact._

 _It was quite a good movie, until it introduced a new character._

 _Alex. She was a beautiful young woman and the main characters affair._

 _As soon as her name was called out, my eyes shot to Dimitri. His eyes pierced into mine and we both stared at each other, pain the prominent feeling._

Why does the other girl have to have this name.

 _End flashback_

It's like this tension was all I could think of, until Camille started taking over the talking and ripping me out of my thoughts.

"Family is a bond, Family is blood and family is a community where you can make mistakes and will always be loved and forgiven."

 _Hah!_ I really had to try hard to hold back my laugh and a snarky comment.

"That's right. You'll always be there for each other in bad times and they're what makes you stronger."

"Hah, sure!" I didn't realize I must have said that out loud until my group looked at me confused.

"Sorry." I mumbled.

"No, what was so 'hilarious'? Why don't you enlighten us about your thoughts." Asked Camille who had just told us about her definition of a family. It was clear to see that me interrupting her had apparently pissed her off.

She looked at me waiting for me to explain how I could be so _rude_ to interrupt her talking. I never really liked her and the way she acted as if she was our teacher in this group and her naive thoughts made me speak without thinking about it.

"Do you really believe all this bullshit you are talking about? Family isn't what makes us strong, it's what makes us weak. Because we are loving these people, we are weakening ourselves, 'cause if we lose them we can't handle it. And that is how death is showing us how weak a family is making you."

Everyone but Dimitri stared at me incredulous.

"But that's not true either," Dimitri piped up. "Yes, a death in your family is as hard as anything can be, but when you are leaning on your bond as a family, you can help each other get over it and make each other strong."

He was the one to talk about sticking together in bad times, when he had been the first one to leave when we've lost our sweet little baby boy.

"And how would you know about it? For that, you actually have to stay in times like this and not run away when it gets hard." I almost spit it out.

Dimitri obviously lost his patience as well because he started to raise his voice at me too. "But there is not just the actual act of running away, there is also the act of shutting yourself away from the person that loves you and who wants to support you in times like these. And if someone is doing that, then there is no way to help them or support each other, so there's no possibility to be a family, then there is nothing else to do than going away and trying to fight for yourself."

By now we were the only person talking and our conversation turned into our personal fight over what had happened in the past.

"That just proves my point!" I screamed at him, not caring that Eddie stood up, ready to come over here to help me. "When times get hard, the human species are lonely fighters. We are the strongest when we fight alone, because then another person cannot set our hopes up and then let us down. Then we don't built ourselves our perfect little home with our perfect little family just so it can be taken away from us. Because we both know that this is what hurts the most."

By now everyone looked confused as they could be and Eddie was stopped by our words, looking irritated and unsure whether he should step in between us.

At this point I was crying and I could see the tears in Dimitri's eyes as well.

"If you wouldn't have been so cold, then-"

"Don't you dare calling me cold, not after not being here last year!"

"I already told that after what happened with Alex-"

"No, I swear to God if you are talking about Alex during this time, I swear I'll kill you."

"I have every right to talk about Alex and-"

"Not during this time of the year."

By now, the whole room had turned silent and Stan walked over to us.


	6. Chapter 6

"Okay, everyone, class is over for now. Oh, and Miss Hathaway, Mister Belikov, could you please stay for a while."

Stan gave us the death glare and while everyone started to leave, I wiped away my tears and wrapped myself up for the speech we were about to get for getting so carried away in class.

"Quite a scene you caused here. I'm not really surprised by you, Miss Hathaway, but I think it's quite a way to introduce yourself Mr. Belikov. From what I had heard from your old college, you weren't the type of guy to caught attention like this." He gave us a disapproving look.

"So would you care to fill me in on what this was all about? Obviously it hadn't had anything to do with the topic I gave you. For what I know, class isn't the best place to have discussions about personal problems you might have… So, what do you have to discuss that is so important that you interrupt my class?"

I didn't dare looking at Dimitri because I knew I would start crying again immediately, so instead I stared at the floor.

Dimitri shifted uncomfortably next to me, but he wasn't saying a word as well.

Stan waited for some moments. "Okay, since you are not talking to me, I have no choice but to send you guys to our headmistress, just like the silly high school students you act like."

That is the problem when you attend such a small college. It's more like a continuation of high school than what college was supposed to be. Here you still have the supervisor power of a headmistress, the person you have to report to.

We took our bags and left to go see the headmistress. When we got to the door, Dimitri knocked and we were called in.

Sitting at a desk was our Headmistress Alberta. She was an elderly, friendly woman who had helped me when I had went away for three weeks last year and was very understanding of the situation, without really knowing the whole truth.

"So I heard you made quite an interesting first impression Mister Belikov. And it's nice to see you again, Rose. Long time no see." she smiled a weak smile and motioned for us to sit down.

"Care to fill me in about what happened and why you discussed it during class and not in your free time?"

Neither of us was saying a word and after some moments Alberta seems to loose her patience.

"Since none of you seem to want to cooperate, I have no choice but to give you some extra work. And this means, you probably won't be able to attend your holiday you've planned, Ro-"

"No!" I kind of yelled without thinking.

I took a deep breath and started to talk. I don't know why I told her everything, but Alberta usually makes me feel save to open up about what's happening. And the thing is I really couldn't take the chance at not being allowed to go home at this time...

So I started talking, my voice shaky and breaking from time to time.

"I'm sorry we've caused such a scene during class, but it's just so hard for me, for us actually," I said with a side glance at Dimitri. "to be around each other. I don't know what you caught about this argument, but it has something to do with the reason why I had been back home last year and will be this year as well."

Alberta's eyes turned soft as I mentioned my last year's 'holiday'. Back then I had just told her what I had told everyone, that we've lost a close family member. I also told her that he had been very young and that I was very close to him... But she had _no idea how close._

"As you already know I've lost a close family member two years ago... And... Well... The thing is that it got something to do with Dimitri as well and him being here now, during this time, it brings up some memories and problems we're obviously not handling very well."

Her lips curled into a small, ironic smile, but she didn't interrupted me.

"Anyway, Dimitri and I go way back. We've been a thing in high school and let's just say it was very serious and ended very abrupt."

"Could say so," Dimitri commented which made me laugh slightly, because it was in moments like these where I could see the guy that I have fallen in love with and whose son I have gave birth to.

"I can understand that it must be hard to see your ex again, but that's no excuse for-" Alberta started to speak up again.

I interrupted her rather harsh.

"I know. And believe me, if that had been the only thing then we wouldn't be sitting here right now. I mean I don't know about you Alberta, but I'm usually very good at keeping my feelings in check. You know me."

She just glared slightly at me and left this uncommented. When I wanted to start talking again, it was Dimitri who spoke up this time.

"That's exactly why we're here right now, because you're too good at keeping your feelings in check, too good at shutting people out of your life."

With a dangerous glare at him I had to fight hard to keep my feelings in check right now. "Don't you go there Dimitri. Not just because you are wrong, but because that is what brought us here in the first place today. It would be very nice of you if you could let me finish telling Alberta about this. Thanks."

He clenched his fists but remained silent for now.

Alberta looked between us with a suspicious look.

"Wehre was I? Oh right, ja. So three years ago we started dating and soon after I'd turned 18 I found out that-" my voice broke and I took a small breath. "-that I was pregnant. So we decided to get married."

At hearing this Alberta's mouth flew open slightly. She shut it immediately but looked at us, waiting for me to continue talking.

"Though so young we've been over the roof to welcome our baby. Our families took the news differently but they've all been happy when he had been born. Shortly after our little baby boy's first birthday... He... H..." By now I was sopping again, not able to finish telling her about this tragedy.

Without hesitation I took Dimitri's hand who squeezed it softly and took over telling Alberta about our history.

"He died of SIDS..." A lonely tear rolled down his face and even Alberta's eyes were watery. "And as if that hadn't been enough to go through we had additional problems in our marriage. I mean we were too young to know how to handle it better, even though this is something you can never handle in the right way, no matter how old you are. And after just barring our child we kind of broke up and haven't seen each other until I started studying here. Being back here brought all the memories back, the good and the bad ones. When we than had to talk about FAMILY during this class, there was only so much we could handle before it exploded. It's not really an excuse, but that's the reason we were screaming at each other. It was just that the constant reminder of this painful memorie was too much, concise ring the fact that we haven't really talked about it. Neither back then when it happened, nor now when we saw each other again."

He finished, adding an almost silent 'I' m sorry' and we all just sat there for some moment. Silence had never been louder than in this moments. We were all caught up in our own thoughts until Alberta coughed lightly and started talking.

"First of all I am so sorry to hear that you two already had to go through something this tragic... It's something no one should ever be facing and I can now say that I understand why you we're fighting. But however-"

Something or actually someone interrupted Alberta's sentence, when this person opened the door without bothering to knock.


	7. Chapter 7

_Hello guys,_

 _I hope you all had wonderful holidays and enjoyed the New Year so far._

 _Again I'm sorry for being absent for so long,_

 _but it's really hard to find the time and motivation right now._

 _However I promise you not to abandon any of my stories, I'll just need time to finfish them._

 _Anyway, here's the new and unfortunately a rather small chapter of Second chances._

 _Enjoy, and please RxR,_

 _~ xo-RozaBelikova-ox ~_

* * *

 _Something or actually someone interrupted Alberta's sentence, when this person opened the door without bothering to knock._

 **Chapter 7**

The person standing in front of us was a woman, seemingly not much older than Dimitri.

She looked vaguely familiar, but I couldn't quite place her. It seemed like it wasn't necessary, because she seems to know Dimitri... Very intimately it seems.

Oblivious to the tensed atmosphere in the room she walked straight towards Dimitri, I instantly pulled my hand out of Dimitri's, just seconds before she threw herself into his arms and pulled him into a tight embrace... Much to my dislike, although I would never admit that I felt this sting of jealousy inside of me.

I just told myself it was an old spark from long gone times. Well, at least I could try convince the others if I couldn't even convince myself.

"Dimka!" The tall woman with icy blue eyes and a scar on her face exclaimed aloud while still holding Dimitri.

I looked puzzled at Alberta and then at him, but he seemed startled too.

For his own good.

This still nameless woman slightly let go of Dimitri, but just to hold him at his strong muscular arms, looking him up and down.

"Tasha, what are you doing here?"

 _Tasha_. So the woman has a name.

"That's what I should be asking you, silly." Tasha answered, while laughing and throwing her hair back and letting her hand stroke down his arms.

 _My husband's_ arms.

I can't believe I'm thinking that. At least I haven't said that out loud. _THAT_ would have been awkward and hard to explain this, especially after this PDA moment with Tasha. I don't know what it is about her, but I can't stand her, although I haven't seen much of her and she actually seems to be a nice person.

She at least had to be, since Dimitri let her hug him, without punching her right into the face or at least pushing her away. Though if you're to believe his face, that's exactly what he wanted to do with her, pushing her far away from him.

After some moments of awkward silence, Alberta coughed slightly and Tasha seemed to notice that there are other people here as well.

"Oh," she said, while looking away, acting as though she was embarrassed when she clearly liked the attention her little outburst got her. "I'm sorry Ms. Petrov. I just came to tell you that my transfer paper are here and I wanted to ask if we could talk about this mentoring position again."

I looked at her and tried to remember where I knew her from and more importantly how Dimitri knew her. After just telling Alberta about our past, us holding hands to comfort us while reliving this, that woman had to come in and ruin this moment. As if this hadn't been bad enough, she seemed to be very intimate with Dimitri.

She seems to notice my stare and looked at me. She smiled friendly at me until she saw Dimitri looking at me, a mixture of hurt, love and longing in his eyes. That's when her friendly smile turned ice cold.

"Ehm, yes Tasha we can talk about it later, but right now I'm in a very important talk and I would really appreciate if you would be knocking first the next time."

Tasha tore her eyes away from me and smiled at Alberta.

"Of course Ms. Petrov, I'm sorry I interrupted you. I'll just leave the papers here and come back later today so we can talk." She puts some papers on Alberta's desk and then turned towards the door, gave me a death glare and smiled at Dimitri, obviously trying to look sexy and seductive.

"Bye Dimka, I hope I see you later, too." With that she was gone and I could just think about how she was flirting with _my man_ and how I wanted to hurt her, just because if this.

"So where have we been?" Alberta asked, trying to collect her thoughts after this interruption.

All I could do was staring at Dimitri, who hadn't said anything since this Tasha stormed in and attacked him. I tried to figure out his feelings for her and stared at him in disbelieve.

"You told us that you understand why we were fighting, but…" Dimitri said, the first thing after Tasha left.

"Yes, thanks," Alberta started talking again. "So it's true, I understand it and I am very sorry to hear you've been through this, however this isn't an excuse to disturb a lesson and fight loudly over this. So I think you should apologize to Mr. Alto and promise to never let this happen during any of your classes."

We both nodded. "We won't do that again, and I have to say this again, I'm very sorry." Dimitri promised.

With a side glance at him I added, "I agree, I'm very sorry and I can't believe I'm saying it, but I'll apologize to Alto." Alberta smirked at my last comment, but I'm Rose Hathaway nonetheless so I had to add this snarky comment.

Dimitri and I started to get up and leave as Alberta stopped us again.

"There is one last thing I want you to do…"

Irritated we looked at each other and then at Alberta.

"I want you two to go to a counsellor. It doesn't have to be our school counsellor, it can be anyone you want to be. But I want you to go and see someone. Not just to might give each other and your marriage another chance," Alberta gave us a strange look, "but most importantly to get over this trauma, or at least talk about it to be able to live with it."

I was perplex, but Dimitri took my hand and squeezed it slightly. "We will. Thank you. Bye."

And with that he got outside, while still holding my hand and tucking me with him.

Still shocked, not just over Alberta's words, but also over Dimitri's reaction, I just let him take me away. Not paying any attention where we were going, I was surprised to see that we were in front of his dorm room when we stopped and I registered my surroundings again. He fished his keys out of his pockets, opened the door and got inside, still holding my hand the whole time.

Dimitri pulled me towards his bed and we both sat down, not saying anything.

After some moments of silence he asked me if I wanted to drink something. I just shook my head. It was weird how it suddenly felt like we we're 16 again and I was at his place for the first time. I mean it was true, in some ways. It was the first time I was in his dorm room and the first time in forever that we've been alone in a quiet room.

"I think we really need to talk, Rose. Especially after what happened today." He looked at me, unsure what to say next, so I just started talking.

"Yes, you are right. It can't continue like this. We can't avoid each other like we tried to, but I know that you can't, or more importantly don't want to be with me, and I don't know whether I could after what happened. I have already seen a counsellor after what happened and I don't want you to feel obligated to see one with me together, just because Alberta, I mean Ms. Petrov advised us to do. You don't have to spend that much time with m-"

That was the moment when he kissed me – startled I acted on instinct and kissed him back.

 _Oh God_ – how much I have missed his lips, his kisses, his hands roaming up and down my body.

But before we could get any further, he got away.

"I'm sorry," I said, even though he had been the one to kiss me.

"I'm not," Dimitri answered. "I missed this, and I know that this is the easiest way to make you stop talking, although there was a good chance that you would slap me this time."

We both laughed a little uncomfortable, but Dimitri sobered up and took my hand in his.

"But seriously, I wanted to say that I am all in. Not just for the counsellor, but for this," he motioned between the two of us. "I know that I fucked up big time and that there might not be much to do, since I was the one who wanted to have space and get divorced, but I am ready to work it out, I'm ready to be there for you this time."

His eyes bored into mine. "So what do you say, Roza? Do you want to give us a chance and go to a counsellor together?"

Without saying anything I just stared at him. Could it be true what he said? But if so, what was about that woman that just stormed into Alberta's office and hugged him like she was his girlfriend. What should I do?

That was when everything went black-


	8. Chapter 8

_Hey guys!_

 _Yes your eyes aren't betraying you. I actually updated my story._

 _Again I can't tell you how sorry I am for making you wait all this time._

 _But as usual life got in the way._

 _I had to go through some things these last months._

 _We've lost a close family member and I had to decide how to continue my future life while still working full-time to earn enough money to pay my bills._

 _But I cut the whining and let you, hopefully, enjoy the next (shorter) chapter of "Second chances"._

 _So now on to chapter 8, finally_ _?_

 _~ xo-RozaBelikova-ox ~_

 _We both laughed a little uncomfortable, but Dimitri sobered up and took my hand in his._

 _"_ _But seriously, I wanted to say that I am all in. Not just for the counsellor, but for this," he motioned between the two of us. "I know that I fucked up big time and that there might not be much to do, since I was the one who wanted to have space and get divorced, but I am ready to work it out, I'm ready to be there for you this time."_

 _His eyes bored into mine. "So what do you say, Roza? Do you want to give us a chance and go to a counsellor together?"_

 _Without saying anything I just stared at him. Could it be true what he said? But if so, what was about that woman that just stormed into Alberta's office and hugged him like she was his girlfriend. What should I do?_

 _That was when everything went black-_

 **Chapter 8**

When I got my consciousness back, my eyes were facing a white ceiling and I felt something wet on my forehead.

I wanted to raise my hand to remove the wet something from my head, but I realized someone was holding it tight.

Moving my eyes to the person holding my hand, I could see it was Dimitri.

Apparently I was still in his room. He must have lifted me onto his bed completely and laid a wet cloth over my forehead and stood by my side 'til I woke up again.

Then everything that happened today came flushing back.

The discussion during class, this woman hugging him, and the kiss… The kiss that felt so good, the kiss that made everything feel good again.

While remembering the woman, clinging herself to him, I pulled my hand away from him, alarming him that I was conscious.

"Roza, thank god you're awake again. You scared me to death." He rambled.

When I stilled didn't responded, his look turned into one of worry again.

"Is everything alright? Do you want me to take you to the infirmary?" while saying that he already got ready to carry me to get help.

"I'm fine," I snapped shortly, trying to escape from this room.

"You're obviously not fine since you fainted just some minutes ago." he answered, clearly not taking my poorly reassurances and ignoring my attempts to get away from him.

"I won't let you go until you told me what happened. Why did you faint? Was it the kiss? What I said or-?"

I interrupted him quickly. "As I already told you I'm fine. It's probably just the fact that I haven't eaten anything today. So can you please just let me leave?" My anger boiled up for the second time today when he acted like I haven't said anything.

"You haven't eaten anything today?" clearly he had a hard time believing that. Who could blame him. Everyone who knows me, knows I never quit a meal. "That just proves my point." He continued, waiting for me to explain my reasons.

Throwing my arms in the air I sighed reluctantly.

"Fine. You want to know why I fainted?" Instead of answering me, he just raised one eyebrow.

"Maybe because this whole situation is so relaxed and totally normal." When this left my mouth, I couldn't stop what was about to come. All this time of keeping my feelings in check, of hiding this trauma and my hurt, I didn't want to pretend anymore.

My anger raised without me really knowing why. I mean, he said all those things I wanted to hear for so long, still I only got more furious with every passing moment.

"My thoughts are so heavy, that they keep burying me alive and so that's why I fainted. Okay?!" Taking a deep breath, I continued my ranting.

"I mean it's not just everything that happened back then. It's also the fact that it's _that time again._ That I finally see _you_ again after almost one and a half years." My voice is weak and I have to swallow the tears that are forming in my eyes.

"After all this time I see you again and then we had that fight in class today and then had this talk in Alberta's office… I don't know. It's really silly, trust me, but I let myself hope again. I thought that maybe after all this time, there would be a way to get through all this." By now the tears were falling freely down my face.

"Then this woman comes marching in and ruins that little moment of peace we had. But then again you took me to your room. So it couldn't have been that bad, she couldn't mean that much to you, right?"

Dimitri opened his mouth to say something, but I wasn't finished. After keeping all my emotions and thoughts locked away for these last few weeks, I couldn't stop myself, now that I started telling him everything I felt all this time.

"But this woman really irritated me, so even when you finally told me all those things I wanted to hear and even when you kissed me… I couldn't concentrate on this positive, loving feeling that only you can give me. I couldn't dwell on the fact that this kiss had the power to make me feel whole again, no! In my mind I just created scenarios where you lived your life, happy, with this woman, Tasha, by your side, while I, I was at the rock hard bottom all those months."

A whimper escaped me and I started sobbing uncontrollably while still trying to form coherent sentences.

"For the last years, I felt like everything that I touched tumbled down. I just want to fix it somehow. But how much heartache can I take until it's too much and I just crush, without a possibility to fix me again. The point of no return is in sight and I'm scared. I feel like I can't get through this. Somehow my best intentions always keep making a mess of things. So how can I possibly hope to get things right, finally, after all this time living in the ruins of my life. Now I feel like not even you, the only one who always have been able to save me, can help me get my life together, especially if my imaginations about you and Tasha are true."

My breath got caught in my throat and with one last sentence I let the pain take control over me.

"I'm tired and I can't take it anymore, I just want to die and join our son…"

It made me feel low to admit this, but it was true. Even after all this counseling I couldn't help but feel that I would be better off dead, than trapped in this world, without the love of my life by my side.

Especially now, that he was so close and far away at the same time, albeit mostly I was to blame for it myself.

With this I fell to my knees and barely registered when Dimitri joined me after processing everything I've said.

 _Disclaimer:_ This chapter contains some parts of the lyrics to the song "Get it right" and I don't own VA or the characters, just the plot.

Now that I finally have a new notebook to write on, I'll hopefully be able to update more frequently again.

Also I'm looking for a beta for my stories, so if you're interested or know someone who would be up for it, feel free to PM me, thank you in advance and have a great weekend.


	9. Chapter 9

_Hello guys,_

 _since you had to wait soooo long for the previous chapter, I decided to reward you with the next chapter._

 _So please read and enjoy :)_

* * *

 _"I'm tired and I can't take it anymore, I just want to die and join our son…"_

 _It made me feel low to admit this, but it was true. Even after all this counseling I couldn't help but feel that I would be better off dead, than trapped in this world, without the love of my life by my side._

 _Especially now, that he was so close and far away at the same time, albeit mostly I was to blame for it myself._

 _With this I fell to my knees and barely registered when Dimitri joined me after processing everything I've said._

 **Chapter 9**

Dimitri joined me on the floor without saying anything. He just sat there, holding me in his arms , all the while silently crying as well.

After some time had passed, he tilted my head up to wash away my tears, while doing the same with his.

"Don't you want to say something…?" I asked with a small voice after he remained quiet, just looking me into the eyes.

"I don't know what to say. I mean… Do you really believe all of this?" he asked, seemingly overwhelmed by my prior admissions. His accent was thicker after being quiet for my entire rant and after being so emotional and crying.

I let my head hang in shame. It was too late and I've lost my chance, I should have just kept it all to myself. It would have saved me from this awkward and embarrassing moment that was about to come.

He continued talking when I didn't answer.

"Do you really think you would be better off dead?" the tension carried his voice, full of emotions, through the whole room.

"Or that I would be better off when you're gone?" in that moment his voice broke a little.

Still I couldn't do anything but shrug my shoulders and burn a whole in the floor with my intense stare, even though his reaction surprised me. I would have bet that he would push me away and declare that I've gone mad, that my apologies came much too late and that I should have let him in the first time. But he never said anything like this.

"How could you possibly think that I could be happy without you by my side. I mean, yeah, I went on a date with Tasha," and with this few words my world crushed, for the thousands time during this talk. "but that was ages ago and even then, I knew I couldn't feel anything for her, or actually feel anything in general."

With this my head was up in an instant and my eyes widened with surprise and even though I don't want to admit it, with hurt and pain. Knowing that my actions had been the cause of this, stung like hell.

All this time I was mad at him for leaving me, never really comprehending the fault I had in this whole mess.

Seemingly unaware of my reaction he continued. "Yeah, this is exactly _why_ I went on that date. Because I felt nothing and wanted to feel something again, anything. But I was just ignorant and closed my eyes to the truth. I never would feel anything again in my entire life, if I couldn't fix this with us. So I gave up trying completely. I was convinced you would never want me back again, that's why I never tried. The pain of loosing him was too fresh and I felt like you wouldn't let me in again, so why even bother, right?"

Finally he looked me in the eyes and saw my shocked and hurt expression. "But… When I finally saw you again, I instantly wanted to pull you into my arms and never let you go again. Then you ran away and all my hope came crushing down. We've ruined all our chances to get lucky again. That thought was all I could hear in my head. My mind went into auto pilot and repeated this thought the entire time."

Now it was him who shrugged his shoulders, I didn't want to interrupt his speech. It was his time to let out all of his thoughts and fears about our past. He remained quiet though, but after some silent moments he continued.

"The past weeks were my personal hell. You ignored me and Alto chose this topic, solely to torture me, I was convinced this had to be the reason. But then I had hope again when we had this argument, or more specifically when we had the talk in Ms. Petrov's office."

Hesitantly he took my hand in his and his thumb brushed lightly over my palm. "Seems like we both felt hope in that moment."

We both smiled shyly.

"Even after Taha came, I never would have thought that this would unsettle you so much. Yes, we've been apart for a long time and yes, we've both said things that never should have been said in the first place. But then again…" he looked at our intertwined hands. "Not in a million years did I think you'd doubt my feelings for you…"

Before he continued, he looked me deep into the eyes. "…and only you. I never want to hear you say something like this again, okay? That you are better off dead. Because that is something I couldn't survive. And our son wouldn't want that as well."

We shared a moment of silence before I gathered all my courage and threw all my doubts away. Without hesitation or overthinking my decision, I leaned in and kissed him.

Startled at first, he kissed me back when he got over the initial shock. The kiss grew heated very fast and was full of emotions.

We've both been completely caught off guard by this kiss, but I really needed to feel his lips on mine again. Even if it was just a small moment, it felt amazing.

Especially after what we've both just came clean about. I'm in no way over what happened entirely, or even close to being over it, but this talk gave me new hope, for everything to get better. New hope for us.

"What was this for?" Dimitri asked confused when we sat back, looking each other deeply into the eyes.

"I just felt like doing it."

This answer made us chuckle, but I continued explaining my reasons.

"I just didn't want to overthink it and just leaned in. Through this kiss I wanted to express my forgiveness and show you how sorry I feel for what happened." I admitted sheepishly.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions about you and Tasha, even thought you have done nothing wrong, even if there had been more between you and her. I mean, we we're on a break."

This made him chuckle again.

A smirk on his lips, he started speaking.

"It feels good to know you're still jealous, even if there is not a single reason to be. Good to know I'm not the only one still getting jealous."

He gave me one of the smiles he reserved just for me.

"Sure, we still have to get through a lot, and we're not nearly finished talking about our past. There is a lot to catch up on and I really think we should do this counseling." Dimitri leaned in and gave me a short peck on the lips.

"True, and this time I'll let you in. I won't lock myself away from you or everyone else who wants to help me. We'll get better this time." I promised, full of hope for the first time, in a long time.

With a smile he resumed his little speech.

"I hope - no, I know that we can get through this. And, only if you're up for it of course, I would want to start fixing this. Us. Our marriage. I say since none of us ever actually signed for a divorce, you're still my wife. And I'm still your husband. And I really want to start being a good husband again. Overcome the hurt and pain the past had put us through."

This last part made me start crying again, but this time my tears weren't filled with grieve and pain. They were tears of relieve.

Relive that my life finally seemed to be getting back on track.

Dimitri was right though. We weren't done with the past and it would still take a lot of work to get us back where we were before our lives went downhill.

Together we would get through all of this. I was sure of it. If we would stick together, nothing could get in the way of our joyful future as a happy couple.

Suddenly I realized something he had mentioned earlier.

"What do you mean, 'not the only one to be jealous'?" I tilted my head to the side. "You mean you've been jealous the last few weeks?"

Dimitri really blushed slightly before answering , his voice hardly more than a whisper.

"Maybe."

"maybe?" I repeated in disbelief.

"Yes, I mean you always seem to be surrounded by guys and who could blame them. You're the most gorgeous woman to ever walk on earth, so…" he tried to defend himself.

That made me laugh. Not only was he exaggerating, but he has really been jealous because of the boys.

He looked up, not feeling comfortable that I laughed because of that.

"I'm sorry, I don't meant to laugh, but you do realize that these guys are just my friends and that they are actually in a relationship. All of them. And even if that wouldn't be the case, I could never feel the same for them. You still own my heart and I don't think that this will ever change."

That eased his tension and he visibly relax a bit.

"I know that now," he admitted, "but I didn't in the beginning, okay. It's nice to know though, that you still feel the same way about me. My feelings for you never changed either."

We smiled at each other. Happy for this moment of time and curious to see what was next to come.


	10. Chapter 10

_Hey guys,_

 _thank you for your amazing Reviews, they really made my day._

 _And a_

 _Happy Women's Day_

 _to all the amazing women out there._

 _Now go on and enjoy the next chapter._

* * *

 _"I know that now," he admitted, "but I didn't in the beginning, okay. It's nice to know though, that you still feel the same way about me. My feelings for you never changed either."_

 _We smiled at each other. Happy for this moment of time and curious to see what was next to come._

 **Chapter 10**

That day seems to be so long ago, when it had only been yesterday.

Dimitri and I sat there for some more hours and talked about everything and nothing.

 _Flashback_

 _"So.." I started, unsure how to phrase this._

 _"So?" he asked expectantly._

 _"What is it you want to know? I can see you have a question, but don't know how to ask." Even after all this time he could still read me like an open book._

 _"Roza," His nickname for me made me look up. "Just ask whatever is on your mind. You can ask me whatever you want to."_

 _Taking a deep breath I begged for my voice to be steady._

 _"I got that you and Tasha just had one date and I don't want to sound immature and insecure…"_

 _Trying to calm down a bit, I took another breath._

 _"It's just that I can't get it out of my head. She's here and if I can get to that conclusion based on her welcome earlier, she isn't on the same page as you are. Obviously she things you guys are more than just friends or at least you guys have the potential to be more."_

 _He stopped playing with my hair. "That wasn't really a question Rose."_

 _"I know, I just want to know what happened."_

 _He sat upright._

 _"Not in detail of course," I hurried to explain before this would blow up in my face. "Just tell me that I don't have to worry about giving us another chance when there might be another woman in your heart and life."_

 _"Oh Roza," he said, his voice calm and full of love and laughter._

 _"You silly woman." As he continued playing with my hair, he also continued talking._

 _"First of all, there will never be another woman beside you in my heart. Second of all, Tasha and I just had one date. We've been at a bar and I barely talked to her. So I don't believe she enjoyed it or wants to have another date."_

 _Before he could say another word I spoke up. "Comrade how can you be so blind. She practically undressed you with her eyes. She's clearly interested in you"_

 _"_ Comrade _… I really missed hearing you say this." With a peck on my forehead he smirked and spoke again._

 _"She can hope for whatever she wants to. As long as you want to keep working on our marriage, I'll never start anything with her, or any other woman that might comes along."_

 _And with another kiss we closed this topic. No matter his beautiful promises, I wouldn't stop worrying about Tasha until I was a hundred percent sure she wasn't after my man._

 _It felt good saying that again._ My man. _Even if it was just in my mind. I was on the best way to get my husband back and that made me so indescribably happy._

 _"Can I ask you something as well?" he interrupted my thoughts._

 _"Of course." I answered, unsure what kind of question to expect._

 _"How come you used your maiden name… and not Belikova?" he asked nervously._

 _I could hear in his voice that it was an important question for him._

 _"It's just that it hurt… You just left and I had to start all over again and when I came here, I wanted a clean break and start as myself. So I used my maiden name to avoid the pain." I tried to explain it as best as I could._

 _"Oh, okay." He acknowledged._

 _"What? What did you thought was the reason?"_

 _He just grumbled without answering._

 _"Come on, you can tell me everything as well, I hope you know that?!" I tried to get him to answer._

 _"Okay, It's just that I thought maybe you've been ashamed or wanted to get rid of every connection to me."_

 _He looked kind of scared and hurried to explain himself further._

 _"It sounds silly, I know, but after I hurt you so much, I couldn't be sure, what you would do, to erase me…"_

 _This answer hurt my heart._

 _Had he really thought I would do that?_

 _"Is that true? That's what you thought?" I would have laughed at the switched roles we had now._

 _At the beginning of this conversation he had asked me the same questions._

 _But the mixture of pain and shame on his face kept me from laughing._

 _"Honestly, that's the dumbest answer I have ever heard. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you told me, but how could you believe that I would want to get rid of that name because of any other reason than to avoid being reminded of the pain of losing you. I have always been proud to be a Belikova and I'll always will."_

 _With that he smiled and I gave him a peck on the cheek._

 _"You're not the only one at fault. I pushed you away and that hurt you as well. So I am just as much to blame for this. With my actions I only increased your pain unnecessarily, our pain. And I can never apologize enough for it." It felt to good to talk about all of this and to finally be able to admit my guilt in this mess._

 _I returned to my room after two more hours of talking and kissing. This feeling was so good, I was at a loss for words. Me. Rose Hathaway. I mean, Belikova._

 _Although I was happy, it felt kind of rushed for my heart and my head to keep up with the constant changes._

 _But no matter how rushed I thought the reconciliation with Dimitri was, it still felt right and that was the most important thing._

 _When I arrived back home, my friends still haven't returned from their classes._

 _I was glad I had a little time to adjust to all these new information and to the fact that I would really give Dimitri and our marriage anther chance._

 _That also meant, I had to tell my friends about our past. About all of it, not just some half-truths._

 _I explained to Dimitri why I never told my friends before and luckily, he understood._

 _Since neither of us ever mentioned anything about our past, but the fact that we've been dating some time ago, I planned to tell them when we both felt the time was right._

 _This was something you shouldn't tell someone in passing. You have to take your time. So for the time being we would just tell them that we'll be trying dating again and see where things lead._

 _End of flashback_

And that's what we did.

It was like someone turned on a switch and we finally got back together. Of course our problems weren't solved completely, but we had a major breakthrough.

This morning, before we all left the building for classes, I mentioned to my friends that I talked to Dimitri yesterday and that we wanted to give our relationship another try. The guys had already been there to pick up us girls, so everyone knew and no one was surprised when Dimitri showed up to take me to breakfast.

Even though none of them really said anything about my news, I could see that they had their thoughts and doubts. Somehow they all kept their opinions to themselves though.

Their doubts were only natural. They had close to no information about what happened back then, so they hade no idea that our relationship had been serious enough to end in a marriage with an unplanned child.

However none of them voiced their concerns, but I was positive that they would speak up when they had time to let this think in, or when we'll end up telling them.

Most classes had been uneventful. We got some looks here and there, but that was to be expected, since it was common knowledge that we never got along.

The first one to say something about it was none other than Stan Alto.

"Mr. Belikov, Ms. Hathaway, I hope that this class can take place without any interruptions on your part."

I would have said something, but Dimitri stopped me by squeezing my hand and simply saying, "No worries Mr. Alto, Rose and I talked everything through, you don't have to worry about anything."

That was when Stan saw us holding hands and furrowed his brow, but said nothing more.

The whole class through, I could feel Eddie's eyes on us.

When I looked over he smiled a little unsure and turned his gaze to his group.

Throughout the whole discussion about Family, I kept a low profile and let the rest of the group talk.

Camille obviously wasn't over the fact that I interrupted her yesterday, because she tried to get me to say something multiple times, but today I couldn't care less about her and her bitching.

Dimitri and I were finally out in the open and ready to work on our relationship.

Before I knew it, it was already Friday, end of the week.

All of my friends decided to have a little get together at our apartment.

We ordered a bunch of pizzas and Christian made some delicious brownies.

I had two before the door closed behind him.

After my friends assured me it was okay to invite Dimitri as well, I texted him and asked him to come over.

Ten minutes later he was there and we all snuggled onto the couch.

Everyone but Mia had a partner to cuddle up to, but Mia improvised with a pillow and even outright explained to us why she was the only lucky person in this room, since she doesn't had to share her food, her blanket or give up any of her space for another person.

That made all of us laugh and eased the tension that had been there from the beginning.

We all relaxed and talked and watched some movie that Lissa and Jill decided on watching.

I couldn't care less since I finally had Dimitri back and we were both cuddled up on the couch, enjoying a nice evening with my best friends.

After the movie was finished, everyone helped tidying up a little and got additional snacks to the brownies.

It was a wonder, but I still haven't eaten them all.

I was a good friend and shared them with everyone, I know, very generous of me.

When I got back into the living room where my friends seem to be interrogating Dimitri, I saw that Dimitri took a bite of a brownie and that he apparently chocked on it.

Everyone laughed, but when he didn't stopped and only seemed to cough harder, I rushed over to where he was holding his throat.

"What is wrong with him?" squealed Jill, while she was clinging onto Eddie.

That was the moment when Dimitri collapsed onto the floor.


	11. Chapter 11

_Hello guys,_

 _here is another chapter._

 _Hope you'll enjoy reading it_

 _:)_

* * *

 _When I got back into the living room where my friends seem to be interrogating Dimitri, I saw that Dimitri took a bite of a brownie and that he apparently chocked on it._

 _Everyone laughed, but when he didn't stopped and only seemed to cough harder, I rushed over to where he was holding his throat._

 _"What is wrong with him?" squealed Jill, while she was clinging onto Eddie._

 _That was the moment when Dimitri collapsed onto the floor._

 **Chapter 11**

Dimitri laid there, still. That's when I started to panic and Christian sprang into action.

Without hesitation he barked out orders and checked whether Dimitri still had a piece of brownie in is throat. When he was positive his lungs were free, he ordered Lissa to call an ambulance.

"Does he have any allergies?" Christian asked me, while we waited for the ambulance to arrive.

I was so shocked and worried that it took me some time to register his question and answer him.

"He's just allergic to fish."

Lissa came barging in and told us that the ambulance should be here any minute, since they had already been close to campus, because of another emergency.

After some seconds had gone by, I remembered something else.

"Lupins."

"What?" asked Eddie, who stood next to the girls, looking outside the window to see where the ambulance was.

"Lupins. He's also allergic to lupins." I repeated.

"And what are lupins?" this time it was Adrian who asked.

"That are some sort of peas." I recalled and tried to remember what else the doctor had told us when we first discovered this allergy.

"We haven't had any kind of peas tonight." Simon piped up.

"No, but they are also used for-" I stopped midsentence.

I looked at Christian, shocked.

"What are they used for?" Lissa urged me to continue talking.

"Flour. Sometimes they're used to make flour." I gulped.

Christian sprung up and ran into the kitchen.

I couldn't do anything but looking at Dimitri who laid on the floor and stroke his head.

In this moment I remembered an argument we had one day after class, maybe two days after his arrival.

 _Flashback_

 _"Rose," someone yelled my name behind me._

 _No matter how long I haven't seen him or heard from him, I would always recognize his voice. This accent used to make me feel loved and protected, but now not anymore._

 _I contemplated ignoring him, but he got to me before I could flee._

 _"We need to talk," was all he said._

 _"_ We _don't need to do anything, but stay away from each other. As far as I am concerned, we don't now each other." I kept my voice low so no one could hear us._

 _It's not like anyone seemed to care what we were talking about, but I couldn't risk someone finding out about our past._

 _"Just like that? I don't even get the chance to talk to you, to try to explain myself?" I shook my head and wanted to leave._

 _Dimitri stood in front of me. "Okay," he continued. "But could you at least tell me why you're using your maiden name? I mean, as far as I remember, we are still married and that means that your name isn't Hathaway, but Belikova." The anger in his voice was clear to hear._

 _I just couldn't understand why. After all, it has been his decision to leave, not mine. So him standing here, questioning my choices only fueled_ my _anger._

 _"That's none of your business," I snapped. "But if that's what it takes to keep you away from me, then fine. I didn't want my friends to find out."_

 _His expression changed into one of hurt, but only for a second so I wasn't sure if I was mistaken or if this really hurt him._

 _"About what?" the venom in his voice was hard to miss._

 _"This. About us, about all of this bullshit." I gestured between the two of us._

 _"So your friends don't know about us? Or about him? They have no idea what happened in the past?" he asked seemingly disgusted._

 _"No, and that is none of your business as I already told you. So could you please stop screaming before someone overhears us?" I nearly screamed myself._

 _Instead of leaving me, as I anticipated, he pulled my arm and yanked me into a classroom close to us._

 _Luckily we were alone, because Dimitri couldn't fight his anger and started yelling._

 _"How can you deny everything we had?" the vein on his neck pulsed, showing how angry he really was. "Or more importantly, how can you deny our son. Your friends need to know about this, or you never really know, whether they're your true friends. At least they deserve to know this about you, don't you think?"_

 _Now it was my turn to scream at him._

 _"Don't you dare accusing me or my friends of being untrue to one another. Instead of you, they were there for me last year." It was a low blow, but I couldn't help it._

 _"They know me and still stood by me, unlike some other person in this room. Even though they don't know what happened and they don't need to know." His behavior frustrated me so much, I couldn't keep my anger from blowing up._

 _"So they don't know you?" he started screaming again._

 _"They do, they just don't know about my past." I tried to justified myself._

 _"Which is what defines you. Made you this extraordinary person you are today." Suddenly he sounded a lot calmer._

 _"Because of all those things you're hiding, you became this amazing, strong woman. All this. Us. Our child. His death. Everything you've been through, formed you." He took a step towards me._

 _"So no. They don't know what drives you, what motivates you and they will never truly understand who you are. Not until you tell them." In the end, his voice was barely a whisper._

 _For a moment I was just stunned._

 _Quickly I reassembled myself and answered him._

 _"But just because you've been there doesn't mean you know me or understand me. And to be honest, you are a huge part of why I'm the way I am today." This made the pain reappear on his face, but I couldn't care less at this moment._

 _"So don't you dare lecturing e about life or my friends. You don't know anything and that's the truth. Now leave me alone before I punch you in the face and start screaming." With that I left him standing there, trying to compose myself._

 _End of flashback_

I was so ashamed of it know. I don't even know why I thought of it in this moment. But when you fear for someone's life, I guess you always think back to the big things in life.

Even though there were moments I regretted more, this one was still fresh.

I behaved so poorly and he let me treat him this way. He even took me back after all these things I've said and done.

Truly, he was the man of my dreams, the love of my life and I hope I get the chance to show him all of this. To tell him how deeply sorry I am for everything that happened.

"Rose, you were right. It was in the flour I used for the brownies." Christian came back into the living room, pulling me out of my memories.

"But I thought you always use special flour for your own allergies?" I exclaimed.

"Yes, but today I forgot to buy it and borrowed the some from Lissa." He looked down at Dimitri.

"I'm sorry Rose, If I would have known, than I would have told him." Christian apologized.

"It's okay, you couldn't have known it. He should have thought about it himself, this dumbass. Since it's rarely used in flour anymore I guess he just forgot about it." I murmured and continued stroking his head.

Before someone could say anything else, the ambulance arrived.

They took control and asked us all kind of questions.

Gladly my friends were with me, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to answer their questions. Such as for how long he was unconscious or how many brownies he had.

The paramedics could help Dimitri very fast, but wanted to take him to the hospital for a check up, since he had been unconscious for some time and still wasn't conscious.

"We'll take him to the hospital now." The shorter of the paramedics announced.

"I'm coming with you." I declared, ready to get my jacket, shoes and purse.

"Close family only miss, I'm sorry." This time it was the taller paramedic who spoke.

He tried to wheel the stretcher out of the living room, but I was in the way.

"Come on Rose," Lissa took my arm and tried to get me out of the way.

"We'll take the guys' cars and drive you to the hospital." She tried to reassure me.

But if I couldn't help it, I wouldn't leave his side for one second.

"No," I tore my arm away from her grip.

"You can follow us with your car. I need you there, but I'm getting with him on that ambulance. I'm his wife." I said, my gaze locked with the paramedics and without glancing at my friends I pulled on my jacket.

The paramedics nodded and I followed them outside and some moments later we were racing off to the hospital.

I sat next to Dimitris unconscious body on the stretcher and held his hand.

"How come he isn't awake already?" I asked the paramedic who sat in the back with me, panic filled my voice.

"Mrs. …" he looked at me questioningly.

That's when I realized we haven't told them any of our names.

"Hath-" I stopped and corrected myself. It became so natural to introduce myself as Hathaway since I started college and used my maiden name instead of Belikova.

"I mean Belikova. Mrs. Rose Belikova and that is my husband Dimitri Belikov."

If the paramedic was irritated by my mistake, he didn't let anything on.

"Mrs. Belikova. It's completely normal that he's still out like a light. His body has to regain his power, but he's a young man and in good physical shape, so there shouldn't be any long lasting problems."

That calmed me down a little. Never had I thought that this harmless movie night would turn out to be so catastrophic.

Now my friends knew that I was married to Dimitri, I have to prepare myself to answer all of their questions.

But for now, all I worried about was Dimitri.

…And who knew, maybe my friends haven't even followed us, since I bluffed at them and they just found out that I have apparently been married to Dimitri.

I felt bad thinking something like this about my friends, but I couldn't even be mad at them if they decided to stay home.

When we arrived at the hospital and I had to stay behind so the doctors could check on Dimitri, I stayed at the information desk and was asked to fill out some forms for the hospital.

I was half through with these forms when my friends arrived.

They came rushing towards me and Lissa took me into a bone crushing hug.

"I'm so sorry Rose. How is he, has he woken up on the ride here?" she asked nervously.

When she saw my head shook no, she hugged me again.

"Rose?" that was Jill's voice, coming from behind me.

"Yes?" I asked, even though I was pretty sure what she was going to ask me.

"How come you never told us you're married?" she asked, apparently a little hurt by my betrayal.

That's when I started crying. Usually I wasn't one to cry easily, but the pasts events and the upcoming anniversary made me tear up easily.

Before I could utter a single word, my friends all joined Lissa and me in a group hug.

"Sorry guys, I'm really sorry, but I couldn't. I swear that I'll explain everything." I hickuped.

We let go of each other, they all nodded and I finished filling out the forms.

"First of all, I want to thank you guys for being here for me."

They all shrugged it off.

"I'm very grateful to have friends like you in my life and-"

"But you still wouldn't tell us your married." Avery made a bitchy comment.

Everyone gave her a disapproving look, but she was right.

"Yes, and I'm really sorry. As soon a I know that Dimitri is alright, I'll tell you everything. I swear."

Eddie put his arm over my shoulder.

"Don't hurry, Rose. You don't have to worry about that. Just make sure he's alright and we'll be there for you nonetheless."

As I hugged him, a doctor appeared next to us.

"Mrs. Belikov?" he asked, looking around.

"Yes. I'm Mrs. Belikova. How is my husband?" I took the hand the doctor held outstretched and shook it.

"Your husband is alright and should wake up any minute. There should be no long lasting complaints. You can visit him now. He's in the room 1724." He shook my hand one last time and left us behind.

After I thanked him again, my friends and I went to Dimitri's room to check up on him.

He was still laying unconscious in bed, but looked so much better than when he laid on our living room floor.

Pulling the chair next to his bed, I sat down, after giving him a small peck on the lips.

My friends gathered around the bed and let me sit there for some quiet moments.

"So," again it was Avery who started the conversation. "How come we just get to know by accident, _literally_ , that you are married to the Russian god?"


	12. Chapter 12

WOW guys, your feedback is amazing.

I loved each and every review.

I hope you still enjoy the next (smaller) chapter.

Since times are crazy right now, I hope that you're all safe and also take time to sit back and relax.

Fortunately I can still work from home, but it also means that I don't know when I'll be able to update again.

Hopefully it doesn't take me toooo long.

CAUTION: This chapter could include some tragic events and should be read with caution.

Since everything is said now,

Please continue to read and enjoy :)

* * *

 _"Your husband is alright and just wake up any minute. There should be no long lasting complaints. You can visit him now. He's in the room 1724." He shook my hand one last time and left us behind._

 _After I thanked him again, my friends and I went to Dimitri's room to check up on him._

 _He was still laying unconscious in bed, but looked so much better than when he laid on our living room floor._

 _Pulling the chair next to his bed, I sat down, after giving him a small peck on the lips._

 _My friends gathered around the bed and let me sit there for some quiet moments._

 _"So," again it was Avery who started the conversation. "How come we just get to know by accident, literally, that you are married to the Russian god?"_

* * *

 **Chapter 12**

Simon looked a little ashamed that it has been his girlfriend to start this topic again, but still they all looked curious to get to know why. Avery was just the only one brave enough to ask directly.

I swallowed, before starting to tell them the story of how I met Dimitri and how we fell in love.

"We planned on telling you together, after everything had calmed down. You had time to get to know him and maybe change your probably bad opinion you have right now, given the fact I have told you next to nothing. I swear we really wanted to let you guys in on what happened, but it's not so easy to talk about that time of our lives."

With that I started the history of our love story and the girls all sighed as the hopeless romantics they were. Until I got to the part where I found out I got pregnant.

"Wait, what?" Adrian gasped.

"Yes. I was pregnant and after nine months I gave birth to a beautiful little baby boy."

"So you're a mother?" Sydney asked, a little dumbfounded.

"But how come we never saw him or heard about him? Does he live with your parents at home and that's why you drive there so often?" Mia continued the interrogation.

"I'll get to that part. Could you please be a bit more patient?! You'll get to know it early enough." I snapped a little harsher than intended.

They shrugged and nodded, so I continued telling them about the different reactions and how we moved in together, got married and build ourselves the perfect little home for our small family.

I told them about his first year and when I came to his first birthday it was hard to keep the happy demeanor upright.

My friends noticed the shift in my mood. I started talking about _that night_ and I could see that Lissa already had a bad feeling about how the story continued. It was at times like these that it sucked to have such an empathetic friend.

As I continued and got to the part of the story where I found out what happened to my baby, I let my gaze wander to the blanket on the bed, because I couldn't face one of them while retelling how I found my baby in his bed. Dead.

"-and then I went over to his crib and saw him lying there like he always did….. But I couldn't see his chest heave and he even looked a little paler than usual too. When I touched him while I wanted to cover him, I could feel his cold skin against my fingers…. That's when I registered what must have happened…"

They all collectively held their breaths.

"…From that moment on, everything just felt numb. I can't really remember anything that happened then. I vaguely remember screaming and then Dimitri came into the nursery." I took a shaky breath after telling them about this moment in my life.

A voice behind me continued to tell the story and startled me for a moment.

"It had been the most ear piercing scream I had ever heard." Just then I noticed Dimitri woke up and sat up straight behind me. He had took over telling them about this tragedy in our lives.

"I think I'll never forget that sound. You could literally hear the heart break in this scream…. After that night, I knew that nothing could ever hurt this much, nothing could ever be worse than seeing your dead son and the feeling that you can't do anything for your wife to help her, to ease the pain, because you're so heartbroken yourself."

He had his hand on my shoulder and I squeezed it to show him I knew what he meant. I felt a tear leak down my cheek so I washed it away before more tears could follow.

"The only thing that hurt remotely bad enough to make me feel something was leaving and loosing you as well." Dimitri said, barely whispering and I turned around, hugging him with all my heart.

When I turned back around, I saw that all of my friends were crying to different extents. The boys tried to hied it, while holding their girlfriends which sobbed uncontrollably.

It took all of us some time to calm down.

Considering they heard the story the first time, they took it pretty good. Better than my friends back home when it all happened.

This just proved to me that my friends are the best friends I could wish for.

Some minutes later a nurse came in to check on Dimitri and asked everyone to leave.

Stubborn as I am, I refused to leave the room.

The nurse just shrugged after a while and after Dimitri reassured her it was alright, since I was his wife.

Shortly after the nurse had left, our friends came back, with the doctor in tow.

"Mr. and Mrs. Belikov, I have good news. Your vital signs are good, you can leave the hospital and spend the night at home." With that he left and told us to get signed out at the front desk.

"That's fantastic," I exclaimed and kissed Dimitri again, before helping him getting ready to head out of here.

Everyone helped me and we got out after only eight minutes.

Luckily my friends came in two cars, so none of us had to take the bus or a taxi.

We arrived at college in the wink of an eye and we all decided to call it a night, so everyone retrieved to their designated rooms, except Dimitri.

"Can you please spent the night?" I begged him, when we were the only ones left.

"I have to have you close to me to make sure you're alright, please?"

It wasn't like me to beg, but I really needed him. I couldn't leave him after a night like this.

Especially not when I could've lost him tonight… And considering I've never had a real good nights sleep since he left…. I was desperate to have him close to me again.

"Okay, Roza." Was all he said.

Finally lying in bed with him holding me in his strong arms, I felt safe. These arms were my home, where I always felt protected and loved. In all this time I never realized how much I missed him and everything about him, until now, until I almost lost him. Again.

So I told him just that.

"You know that it was just an allergic shock, right?" he asked with a little laughter in his voice.

"Of course I do, but this could have took you away from me as well as a bus or plane crush could have. Don't you dare make fun of me Mister Belikov, because that's-" Quickly he stopped me and pressed his lips to mine.

"You're right, okay. I'm sorry, Roza. I should've remembered my allergy and be more careful. You have to believe me, that I never wanted to scare you like that. Can you forgive me my love?" his puppy dog eyes looked deep into mine and everything was forgotten.

"Yes, I forgive you. I mean, I just got you back and I sure as hell plan on being an annoying wife for the rest of your life, so I can't let you go just now." I answered while snuggling closer into his arms and resting my head on his body.

"Good night my Roza, my annoying wife. I love you." He kissed me goodnight.

"I love you, too, you annoying husband, Comrade." I closed my eyes.

"You have no idea how much I missed hearing this nickname." He said and chuckled.

"Considering how much you first hated that nickname, it's a real miracle."

"Now I love it… Because I love you."

And with that we fell asleep, glad to be able to sleep in each others embrace again.


	13. Chapter 13

Hey Guys,

again I can't thank you enough for all these amazing reviews.

They all really made my day.

Since life is still busy, even when everyone is supposed to stay home,

and I still have to work, I'm sorry I took that long to update.

Now go on and enjoy the next chapter of this story.

Stay home and keep safe :)

Kind regards

~xo-RozaBelikova-ox~

 _"_ _Good night my Roza, my annoying wife. I love you." He kissed me goodnight._

 _"_ _I love you, too, you annoying husband, Comrade."I closed my eyes._

 _"_ _You have no idea how much I missed hearing this nickname." He said and chuckled._

 _"_ _Considering how much you first hated that nickname, it's a real miracle."_

 _"_ _Now I love it… Because I love you."_

 _And with that we fell asleep, glad to be able to sleep in each others embrace again._

 **Chapter 13**

The next morning I woke up from an intense heat.

Dimitri was lying half on top of me and looked as peaceful as ever.

Even though his body weight nearly crushed me and made me feel hot, I would never change it for anything in this world.

Maybe for one thing. If we could get back our son, but since this was impossible, so I wouldn't trade this for anything.

Gently I brushed the hair out of his face.

I laid there like this, quietly enjoying his proximity, until he woke up.

"Good morning, Rose." He yawned, getting off of me, just to pull me into a more comfortable position.

"Have you slept well, darling?" he asked with a kiss on my head.

"Very well. And what about you? How do you feel?" I couldn't help the concern in my voice.

He registered it and hugged me even closer. "I'm fine. Perfect, actually. That was the best nights sleep I had in ages." Despite our morning breaths, we shared a deep, loving kiss.

I don't know why, but I never cared about things like this when it came to Dimitri. Even when he was all sweaty after his workouts or after sleeping and before brushing his teeth, he never smelled bad to me. I loved everything about that man and couldn't believe how lucky I got to get him back.

Before any of us could say something, my phone vibrated on my nightstand.

"Hello?" I answered the phone, before checking who called.

"Rosemarie, it's your mother." A familiar voice answered on the other end.

I sighed. "Good morning Mom. What can I do for you?" It was useless to tell her to stop calling me Rosemarie. She'll never quit using my full name instead of Rose.

"I just wanted to check in on you and see when you're planning on coming home. Are you feeling alright?" Concern filled my mother's voice.

"Yes, I'm alright, thank you, Mom." I quickly sobered up and we arranged everything for my trip back home.

"Okay, I'll see you on Monday then. Bye my darling." And with that she hung up.

Letting out a breath, I looked at Dimitri who had rested in bed quietly during this whole phone call.

"It was my Mom," I informed him, even though he probably already knew that.

"You're going home on Monday?" seemed to be his only question.

"That's right. I'll stay there for three weeks. To… you know.." I couldn't finish this sentence.

"Yeah, right." Was his only response. When he still remained quiet after some more minutes, I cleared my throat.

"What about you?" I asked hesitantly.

"What do you mean, what about me?" he seemed to be irritated by this question.

"Do you want to come with me?" holding my breath I anticipated his answer.

"I mean, he was your son as well and if I'm to believe what Olena told me, you've never visited his grave…"

It took some time until he spoke again.

"That's true, but-"

"But what?" I interrupted him. "You said that you want to work on our relationship. And a big part of that is also allowing yourself to grief over the loss of your son. That means you remembering him in your everyday life and you visiting his grave, paying him this honor and being there for me."

When he still remained silent I started talking again, getting more worked up by the second.

"I need you there. Do you get that? I can't go there alone, like last year. Not after the past days' events."

We stayed quiet for some more minutes.

As he spoke again, I heart the resignation in his voice.

"I know, but I'm afraid. That simple, _I'm afraid_. I don't want to feel this pain again. It would tear me apart." He sheepishly confessed.

I turned to look him directly in the eyes. "Listen comrade. You can bet your ass that I know how much it hurts to not only be reminded that he is dead, but also visit his grave, to see the actual proof that he's gone. But I can also promise you that it will help."

Taking his hand in mine and stroking his face with the other, I wiped away his silent tears. "Believe me when I say that it will also help us healing. Especially when we're there together. Helping each other to cope with the memories, to supporting one another, healing in each other's company."

In his eyes I could see that he was about to give in, so pulled the last trick to finally make him realize I'm right.

"It would also mean the world to your mother and your family."

With that last statement he shook his head yes.

"Alright, you win. I give in." he said with a small relieved smile that I convinced him to visit his son.

"Oh wait a second." His smile faded just a second later.

"What's wrong?" alarm filled my voice.

"How can I leave college for three weeks? You've already cleared this with Ms. Petrov, but I can't just ask her on Monday whether I can leave the same day for three weeks. She probably would have needed more time to arrange that." His voice was filled with pain as he came to the realization that he couldn't leave campus for that long without failing his classes.

"You're right about that. You can't ask her on Monday to leave the same day." I simply agreed.

Again his face turned sad.

"But lucky for you, I already have everything planned out."

A plan already forming in my head as soon as I arranged everything with my mother.

I wouldn't let Dimitri back out of coming along with me.

Like I said, I needed him. And this would be god for him as well.

With this promise, his face turned curious.

A small laugh escaped me and I jumped out of bed, leaving a startled Dimitri behind.

It was still early in the morning, so the rest of the girls were still in bed, sleeping.

Quickly I got ready and came back to find Dimitri already dressed up, sitting on my bed.

Before a word could leave my mouth I saw he was holding my necklace in his hand. The necklace with the ring on it.

His head lifted as he noticed me standing in the doorway.

Slowly I walked to stand in front of him.

"The ring is so small. I still can't comprehend how small he used to be. So small, yet so perfect." With that he shifted and got his wallet out of his back pocket.

When he opened the secret compartment, another ring fell out. This one was bigger, but looked as unused as the small ring.

"I couldn't get myself to get rid of it." Was the only thing he said.

Without saying something, I turned away from him and faced the little box on my nightstand.

"Don't turn away Rose." His arms reached out to turn me back towards him, but I managed to get free and tried opening the box.

"Sorry if that upset you, believe me. You have to know I won't get mad if you had the strength to get rid of your ri-"

Before he could get even more upset about the whole thing, I pulled out the two rings I kept save in this box.

His gaze landed on these rings and he stopped talking immediately.

"Are these…?"

I simply shook my head yes.

"Do you really think I could throw them away. I always kept them safe in this box. At the beginning I also wore them on the same necklace next to his ring, but after some months, I decided to take them off and try to accept that we were history."

With a shaking hand he took my rings and inspected them.

On the inside of my wedding band was his name engraved. Letting his fingers caress the engravement, his eyes found mine.

A little hesitant he took my hand in his and with the other he put the rings back on my finger.

"Back where they belong," he said after kissing my finger with the rings on.

Quietly I took his ring with my name engraved on the inside and did the same.

Finally with his ring back in place as well, I felt happy and stood in between his legs to put both my hands on either side of his face, tilting his head up and gave him a meaningful, emotional kiss.

"Now come on, honey. We need to sort some things out." I pulled him up from my bed and led him out of the dorm room.

"I can't even begin to describe how good it feels to see you wear your ring again, Roza." Dimitri's voice behind me announced.

"Well, same to you buddy," I slightly turned around to smirk at him.

"You really look very sexy with that wedding ring of yours. And now I can officially tell the other woman off again to get their hand off of my husband." I announced.

"Same to you buddy," he imitated me.

In this cheery mood we made our way to hopefully make it possible for him to come with me, without failing his class because of his long absence.


End file.
